I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
