Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
