Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm like, not good at living.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
