I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
