My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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