I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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