am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
