Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
