I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
