God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
