you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
