I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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