ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
