Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
