i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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