Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
