I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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