Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Randomize
