Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
