Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
