i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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