HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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