READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
