I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
