i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
