ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
