a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
