there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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