real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
