just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
