ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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