i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
