You really coming over, don't trick.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
