And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
should my penis look like a turkey
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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