I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
