Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i now understand why vodka
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
