you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
