Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
