its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
