im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
PANTIES FOUND
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
