so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
