i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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