It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
