he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
