those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
