new low.... made out with someone while peeing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
