you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
