i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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