My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
