You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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