oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize