I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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