try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
