why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
