batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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