Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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