Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
