I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so let's talk penis.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
